This is so true. From my military experience as a fatty, I’ve seen authority figures who think they’re helping by heaping abuse, and I’ve seen leaders – actual people who lead others – that take the time to come alongside, support, and encourage.
“Why don’t you put down the fork?” is decidedly less motivational than “Come out with me, let’s work on your run time together. I’ve got a fun workout that is going to suck for both of us, but you’re going to feel stronger when it’s over, I promise.”
“The standards are clear, and if you can’t hack it, there’s the door” may be accurate. But my friends who 1) stop me from shaming myself, 2) refuse to add shame, and 3) challenge me to do better by 4) providing actual support in person — those are the influences that make the difference.
I get my cast off in a week. I can’t wait to get back to working out. (I say that now.)
You know those people who pride themselves on “telling it like it is” and giving “tough love” to fatties. Jillian Michaels, the authors of Skinny Bitch, Dr. Oz, random people I meet in the gym…People who defend their bullying actions by saying “Someone needs to be brave and stop coddling these fatties. I’m that person, put down the bon bons and get off your ass fatty”. Here’s what I would like to say to them:
Newsflash – there is not a fat person in this culture who hasn’t heard this before. There are very few fat people who haven’t heard it in the last two hours. We know what you think of us. We are all too aware that you let your assumptions run wild and then treat us like your assumptions and stereotypes are true, and like public health means making fat peoples’ health the public’s…
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